Swearing is bleeping great

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It’s almost like a rite of passage. Like birth, puberty, marriage and death, swearing properly for the first time changes us. Try and say you didn’t feel fantastic after emitting your first swear. The sheer relief of releasing the expletive that you’ve tried so hard to contain for most of your childhood – what a high! Welcome to the adult world – you’re going to hate it.

Nothing. I’ve got stuff to do – didn’t even hurt that much anyway.
Cry. A big ugly cry.
Swear: that really fucking hurt.